Sense of Control
by Seto Freaking Kaiba
Summary: Yet another story about Shizuo's inability to control himself! Except this time it's not his anger, it's his sweet tooth... among other things. Also there are cupcakes. Warning for some strong language and toilet humor.


_So this is a random fic that I wrote back in August and didn't get around to typing up and editing until today. I have this book of random prompts and the prompt I got was: "Something about it tasted not quite right." And I was in a DRRR mood so this came out. It's nothing special but I figured it wouldn't hurt just to post it for funsies._

_WARNINGS: language and poop humor_

* * *

Shizuo had issues with self-control. Anybody who had experienced his rage could attest to this. However, this problem was not isolated solely to his anger—Shizuo actually had trouble controlling himself in most areas, and at this moment, it was his sweet tooth.

It wasn't fair. The cupcakes were just sitting there, out in the open, their fluffy swirls of frosting acting as a magnet to his eyes. He licked his lips and glanced at the door to Shinra's office, wondering how long the bastard was planning on keeping him waiting. Normally, he'd just go and bust the door down, but Shinra had specifically told him not to come in.

Which, of course, only made it more tempting.

More tempting, though, were those cupcakes. Shizuo's eyes wandered back to them. Surely Shinra wouldn't mind if he had just one. Maybe to make up for forcing him to wait out here for so damn long. And anyway, Shinra surely couldn't eat all of these by himself, and being that his girlfriend didn't have a head, the extras would just go to waste.

Shizuo had already reached out and taken a cupcake before he'd even finished his thought process. He glanced one more time at the door before he took a huge bite of the cupcake, immediately savoring the explosion of sugar in his mouth. His eyes fell closed as he took in the sweet sensation, tinted with a taste that was unfamiliar to him. But it didn't bother him, and by the time Shinra's door finally opened, Shizuo had finished three of the cupcakes.

"Shizu-chan! What a pleasant surprise!"

Shizuo whirled around to see a smug Izaya exiting Shinra's office, the flustered doctor stumbling out behind him, clearly having tried to stop Izaya from leaving.

"Surprise?" Shinra muttered. "Izaya, you knew he was coming. That's why I told you not to come!"

Shizuo felt his anger rising up, once again without his control. "What are you doing here, you damn flea?" he snarls.

Izaya ignored his question and strolled leisurely around to get a glimpse into the kitchen. "Oh! Shizu-chan! You liked my cupcakes! I'm so glad!"

Shizuo's stomach dropped and he suddenly felt an urge to throw up the delicious snack he'd been enjoying just moments before. "_Your…_ cupcakes?"

Izaya nodded, smiling brightly. "Actually, I didn't make them. They were given to me. But I'm not too fond of sweets, so I decided to give them to Shinra."

"Who the hell would give _you _anything?" Shizuo demanded, doing his best to avoid attacking the louse in Shinra's apartment.

Izaya pressed his palm to his own heart in a dramatic manner. "Shizu-chan is cruel to say that nobody likes me enough to give me presents." He put his hand down and his face reverted back to its trademark smirk. "If you must know, they were a gift from my beloved secretary, Namie."

Shizuo didn't think much of this until he saw Shinra stiffen and frown. "Namie? Doesn't she hate you?"

"So mean, Shinra, why did you have to remind me?"

"If she hates you then why's she making you cupcakes?" Shizuo asks confusedly.

Izaya shrugged. "I don't know. Why should I ask questions when presented with such a kind gesture? Although… don't tell her, but I never eat the food she gives me. She likes to add special ingredients, so I don't really care to eat it."

"Special…?" Shizuo's anger exploded. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THOSE CUPCAKES, FLEA?!"

Izaya easily dodged the plate of cupcakes that was thrown at him. "How should I know? I didn't make them. You really should work on your comprehension skills."

Shizuo moved to lunge at Izaya, but froze when his stomach lurched. His face paled and he heard the sound of his stomach groaning over the roaring anger in his ears. Was it poison? He didn't feel weak or anything, like he was going to die. But if he remembered correctly, this Namie chick knew a lot about medicine. It could be anything. It could shut off his organs. It could make him brain dead. Hell, it could still kill him. He probably didn't have long to…

_Oh_.

Shizuo's stomach churned and the fear clouding his mind turned to horror. Utter horror. He slowly raised his head to look at Izaya, who had gotten his knife out at some point, but was still watching him with that infuriating fucking smirk. "Something wrong, Shizu-chan?"

_This has to be a fucking joke. _

Another angry sound came from Shizuo's stomach, and Shizuo gulped in dread and revulsion. Shinra stepped forward, a concerned expression on his face, but before he could say anything, Shizuo lunged at Izaya with a snarl, strong fingers closing around Izaya's neck. "You sick fucking bastard, what's wrong with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Izaya replied, somehow smirking even while being half-strangled. "I've never seen a person turn such a funny shade of green! Now Shizu-chan even _looks_ like a monster!"

"I'm gonna fucking kill you if you—" Shizuo's voice suddenly went silent and the "funny shade of green" drained immediately from his face. "Fucking _hell_," he cursed, releasing Izaya and escaping down the hallway at an impressive speed.

There was a brief beat of silence before Izaya burst out laughing, the noise mingling with Shizuo's outraged yells from the bathroom. Shinra sighed wearily.

"What was in the cupcakes?"

Izaya composed himself, but was still grinning. "If I had to guess? Fast-acting laxatives. It's a shame. I was hoping it'd be lethal. But this is almost just as amusing."

"You planned on Shizuo eating them all along, didn't you?"

"Well, why would I try and kill you, Shinra? You're far too useful to me."

Shinra rolled his eyes and sighed again, rubbing his temple. "Izaya, I told you that I didn't want to be involved in you and Shizuo's little spats."

"It's not my fault that Shizu-chan has no sense of control," He turned around and made his way to the front door. He glanced over his shoulder and Shinra could see a wicked grin on his face. "More so now than ever."

Izaya's cackling could be heard all the way down the hall.

* * *

_It's short, but yeah. I didn't want to talk about Shizuo's bathroom experience much longer. (I__f I go into too much detail it would ruin Shizaya porn for the rest of my__ life__. (sorry not sorry))_ So... yeah, I hope it wasn't the worst fic you've ever read. *shrug* I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I'm never sure about anything so that's me for ya.

_Anywho, that's about it! Thanks for reading! :)_


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